I've been having issues with my lower spine since the beginning of the month and I'm finally going to the doctor on Monday. From what symptoms i have told my friends they all seem to think I've either pinched a nerve in my back or have a disc that slipped out of place. All would make sense. Though I think im leaning more towards the pinched nerve as I do occasionally get numbness in my legs. It was weird that everyone was talking tome at school today. But I honestly really didn't want to talk to anyone. I was too focused on how much my back was hurting. Which at this point I fear is going to limit my modeling as well as my other favorite artistic outlets. I have been drawing  a lot. Mainly when I can prop myself up enough to draw or boredom from class. I feel like I'm slowly beginning to get a grasp on Realism. Just slightly though. I do think the anatomy can wholly be improved upon.

Noodles (my boyfriend) and I have been going along steady for about 4 months now and are talking about moving out of the NOVA area. More then likely moving to somewhere with a beach like Norfolk ( which isn't very far from VA beach). We have adopted a silly little kitten whom we named Kraken Rambo America Jr. Hes a pretty little monster. He loves to whine  a lot. and he very much loves to but in on those intimate moments between Noodlez and I. ( I think its cute> : 3) Soda pop has developed an inoperable lump. Which clearly saddens me since I have had Soda pop for a good 6 years. But without any money to give her a peaceful rest. I feel bad. I know the right thing to do would be to put her down but as i don't have the funds to do so I come home and see that lump getting bigger and the outer layer of skin just getting torn and bleeding. Skwizgar is doing fine. being her super hyper cracked out self. We're also going to have to put my dog down. He's started to get a tumor behind his eye. Which is causing it to be squished out of his skull. Honestly looks nasty but my grandmother is just intolerant to putting the poor dog down.

I don't know what to really do. I've really lost faith in my abilities and honestly don't know if I'm going to finish school or continue to be a creative individual. I just feel so burnt out.